10) Alcohol makes complex astronomical concepts very difficult to comprehend. Alcohol makes complex astrological concepts much easier to comprehend.
9) Astronomers occasionally make accurate predictions.
8) Telescopes come in a staggering array of shapes and sizes. All ouija boards look the same.
7) Nancy Reagan never asked an astronomer for advice.
6) Transposing two object’s coordinates makes a big difference. Transposing two people’s horoscopes makes no difference at all.
5) Astronomers believe in the truth of relativity. Astrologers believe in the relativity of truth.
4) Your VISA card limit is of little interest to an astronomer.
3) Carl Sagan does not have an 0900 number.
2) An astronomer plans his evening according to the position of the stars, moon and planets. An astrologer plans his life according to the position of the stars, moon and planets.
1) The main difference between astronomers and astrologers: astronomers never try to contact dead astrologers!
Cosmic Messenger, Newsletter of the Astronomical Society of Kansas City, October, sent in by Alastair Sims, Auckland.