Hokum Locum talks with one of the unsung victims of the Christchurch Civic Crèche
The New Zealand Judiciary has consistently refused to face up to that gross miscarriage of justice, the Christchurch Civic Crèche case. There has been a call for “new” evidence. In a sensational development I recently tracked down “Julian” (not his real name) at a secret Christchurch address. Here is his story.
HL: Thank you for talking to us Julian. How have you been over the last few years?
J: I’ve certainly missed Peter. It must have been hell for him in prison and I’m really sorry for his co-workers. You know, he was a really gifted childcare worker. The kids loved him.
HL: I know. So you were living in Peter’s house. Where? In a tunnel?
J: Can you see me in a tunnel? No, I was in the laundry chute. With a neck like mine it was the only option.
HL: But how come nobody found you? The police searched the house on numerous occasions.
J: I was always covered in dirty laundry, something the police are used to, so they always overlooked me. I think they were looking for paedophiles, or werewolves.
HL: Weren’t you lonely?
J: Oh no. Peter and I used to have some wonderful talks, and there were other pets for company — a cat and a frog.
HL: Ah, that must be some of the children, you know, that Peter changed into small animals.
J: You must be joking — nobody would believe that would they? Would they?
HL: I’m afraid so. I think that particular allegation ended up as a charge of unlawful transmogrification on an unknown child in an unknown location.
J: Bloody hell! Did they list me as an accomplice?
HL: No, you’re lucky. The interviewers, police and jury obviously found that a giraffe could not have been involved. No need at all for you to have been in hiding all of these years. How’s your health?
J: Not good. I’ve been having nightmares, wetting the bed, talking in my sleep and I’ve developed an allergy to hay.
HL: I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’ve been to a vet.
J: Yes. She told me that all of my symptoms were consistent with sexual abuse in my early life. In fact, she said that any behaviour of a giraffe could be consistent with sexual abuse.
HL: Still, you could have put in a claim for ACC compensation. Lots of parents took the money even when they knew perfectly well that their children hadn’t been abused.
J: I have scruples.
HL: I’m sorry to hear that — I hope the vet has something for it…
J: No, you idiot! I mean I have a conscience.
HL: Just kidding. I heard a rumour that you were writing a book about your involvement in the Civic Creche Case.
J: Yes, I was disappointed I only rated a brief mention in Hood’s book. Even so, I think I was being confused with my cousin Gerald who works for the Life Education trust.
HL: How’s the book coming along?
J: Good thanks. I’ve always been a fan of the Jungle Books so I called it the Bandarlog. I’m going to blow this case wide open; that is, if I can persuade Val Sim and Mr Goff to read it.
HL: Make it a comic book then. We all look forward to reading it. Thanks again for talking to us.
J: Thank you.