New Zealand’s Amazing D’Urville Artefact and Equations of Life, by Ross Wiseman, Discovery Press, 2004. Reviewed by Hugh Young.

This book proves that there is no limit to the human imagination. If you let go all critical impulses, you can convince yourself of absolutely anything.

Ross Wiseman has come by a small wrinkly stone found on d’Urville Island, and convinced himself, by reading its wrinkles with the help of his 11-year-old daughter, that he has uncovered a saga of time travel by a hero he calls Alex. This he has expanded into a book that explores every realm of science and pseudo-science-mainly the latter, and of course with no guide as to which is which. It is more than a little disconcerting to find quarks on page 9 and the four elements of alchemy on page 14.

Mr Wiseman goes readily from “looks like” to “is”. Some of the wrinkles form an approximate square with a depression near the middle. His interpretation:

“The third picture shows a flag with a large circle in the middle. The flagpole is to the right and the flag is fluttering to the left. This is the opposite way to how we draw flags, or run a series of comic pictures, in our civilisation. Our civilisation is a materialistic one, and Alex’s may also be the opposite of ours in that regard too. The opposite of a material civilisation is a knowledge civilisation. The large ‘blue’ circle in the middle of the ‘white’ flag represents knowledge. So far, the story reads, ‘Alex goes to the dinosaur age and plants the flag of knowledge.'”

I found that too much of this kind of thing made my head hurt.

And there is much more: atomic structure, galactic structure, Aristotle’s hierarchy of souls, DNA, evolution, entropy, genetic engineering (the cheetah was genetically engineered), alchemy, time travellers in Auckland (which explains how a NZ Army Argo-an all-terrain vehicle of c1970-appears on the stone), continental drift, crop circles (no reference to hoaxes), September 11 (of course) and reincarnation. Mr Wiseman draws some fascinating conclusions-largely on the basis of facial appearance-about who has reincarnated as who: Hammurabi-Solon-Sulla-Mussolini; Pericles-Hitler; Julius Caesar-Napoleon; Lincoln-JFK (of course); King Francis II-Zachariah Wiseman (Who? Apparently the author’s son: “Zachariah Wiseman was born in 1989 in Auckland as a Moon genius because of his kindness to other people in that life. He is now a Venus genius.” What caused the transition is not explained.)

To proceed, John Locke was reincarnated as Bertrand Russell-to the latter’s great annoyance, one supposes. Plato – Sir Henry Moreton Stanley – Ian Scott “…(born 1945) is a Mercury genius and one of the greatest artists New Zealand has ever produced, but goes relatively unrecognised to this day.” Socrates (whose most defiant political act was to go home rather than take part in an execution) – Nelson Mandela. Mozart – Elton John and Beethoven – Bob Dylan. I keep wanting to stop, but Joseph Haydn – Buddy Holly; Joseph Banks – Rolf Harris; and Charles Darwin – Homer Simpson-no, I made that up.

The 12 Equations of Life can only be expressed with Wingding-like characters. They are all of the form A = B C/D, the connection between B and C/D undefined. So Equation 2, Contact, is [star]= [circle with equator (“passive subtraction”)] [heart]/[3 arrows pointing together], and the explanation is “An arithmetic operation defines the second equation, which in this case is passive subtraction. Passive subtraction belongs to a duodecimal system of arithmetic operations. When it belongs to the octave of creation it coresponds to the angelic realm. Having achieved perfect atonement a soul lives in the kingdom of god as one of the gods or becomes an angel.” And so on.

Oh, on p 281, Mr Wiseman proves the existence of God. The proof is only four lines long, so I might as well include it:

Take two subtraction pi in the Octave of Creation. Take the pi from one and give it to the other. This equals an Octave of Creation,and proves there is an almighty God.

I’m sure you will be as convinced as I was.

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